It's the Planet, Didiot!

Zork Green Tip 31 - Tree Hugs Instead of Bear Hugs

Earthling, for stars sake, stop the bear hugs and start the tree hugs.

Having been on your planet now for ten months, we see humans obsessed about bears and bear hugs. Do not get us wrong. We like your bear species. And there are so many cute ones such as the Panda Bear, Arctic Bear, Grizzly Bear and your all time favorite, the Teddy Bear.

We have not seen humans hug bears in the wild and it is understandably so. But why do humans make so many Teddy Bear toys and do not make any tree toys? Instead, you use trees to make toys. And to add further insult to trees, you have formed bear hug clubs where Earthlings gather and share bear hugs with each other.

Trees are wonderful. They make oxygen for you for free. They give shelter to your Earthling animal friends. Humans should form tree hug clubs all over the Earth. We tried doing it on your planet only to find out that many Earthlings use "Tree Hugger" as a condescending word.

TREE FACT 1: One large beech tree provides enough oxygen for 10 typical humans.

Zork Green Tip 30 - Adjust Your Thermostat

Earthling, I have to confess that even after being married to Meera for more than 1,578 years, every time I see her in her sexy outfit, my body temperature goes way, way, way up. 

My Didiot brother-in-law, Drauk, is in heat 24/7. His thermostat has been out of control since the night our saucy saucer was shot down on your planet. Meera cannot stop her brother from chasing what he calls “bodacious” babes. Beware, female Earthlings, Drauk may be around the corner!

Another type of thermostat is very important to the well-being of your planet and the financial health of your wallet. The thermostat in your dwelling and your business should be your best friend – not your Earthling pet dog.

Can your dog save you money? Can man’s best friend help save the planet? We think not, despite the fact that dogs are Earthlings too. The thermostat in your house or business will save you money and reduce the global carbon footprint of your beautiful planet.