Zork Green Tip 29 - Save H2O

Human, we love water. We traveled the galaxy for thousands of years. One common thing we found in every galaxy and every planet we visited is that where there is life, there is also water.

We understand that many humans did not believe there was extraterrestrial life until we were shot down by Bubba in Stephenville, Texas. Life, including us, is a result of water.

Water is life. Life is water. There is no way around it.

We are befuddled why Earthlings pollute and waste water. We analyzed the Earthly data on our nanocomputers and confirmed that drinkable water for Earthlings will be a much bigger problem than the high price of oil you face today.

The cause of your water shortages is simple. There are over six billion water-thirsty humans on planet Earth. Earthlings are using water faster than the Earth's water reservoirs can replenish the supplies. Water tables are falling on every continent as demand for water grows faster due to population growth. Overpumping of water is now widespread in China, India and United States. These three Earthly countries together make nearly half of the world’s grain harvest.

Humans are overpumping water by at least 160 billion cubic meters or 160 billion tons according to your own human scientists. Using human rule of thumb (not ours since we have three thumbs), it takes 1,000 tons of water to produce 1 ton of grain. The math is simple for any Earthling to understand. This 160 billion ton water deficit is equivalent to 160 million tons of grain. 160 Million tons of grain would feed 480 million humans. What will happen when your water supplies dry up?

Save water. Earthling, we do not mean to scare you or alarm you. We are friendly, green aliens. We see the current hoopla around saving energy but you need to learn to save water as well.

Water brings up Dink’s favorite topic. For some reason, Dink is fascinated with your toilets. He loves flushing them and seeing the water disappear down the hole. This concept is foreign to us because on Zork Planet we do not have water toilets. Our toilets run without water.

Why do humans use drinkable water to wash down human waste down the toilet? Dink loves drinking water from the toilet. We found out that other Earthling animals do the same. This is precious, drinking water being flushed away. For the stars of us, we do not understand why.

How you can help. This crap has to stop. Human, there should be a law that requires every dwelling to switch to toilets with low flushing or water-less toilets within five years. Please send a note to your politician demanding they enact this new law for toilets. Unite and fight against chugalugging, water-thirsty toilets. If your politician refuses to listen to your crap-cutting demands, then you must remind them that they passed a law for digital transmission of television by 2009. They can do the same for toilets.

Water-based toilets are the root of all water evil. The good news is that there are smart Earthlings that have designed water-efficient toilets. The bad news is that their cost is very high.

Earthlings, unite to save your planet’s water. Start with these 2 simple things that make a big impact:

1. When you brush your human teeth, shave or wash your face, please turn off the faucet between the brush strokes. This saves 3 to 7 gallons of water per minute!
2. When you want to wash your body, take a shower instead of a bath. A human bathtub holds 70 gallons of water, while a 5 minute shower uses 10 to 25 gallons.

Imagine what will happen when one hundred million Earthlings make these simple changes to save water. It will make a big difference.

Water is life. Love water. There is no better liquid to drink for your healthy body. One cannot live without water.

H₂0 Rocks!

Comments

[martin]

Great fun way to deliver this advice. Have subsribed to your site on this basis. Look forward to more of the same. Cheers.