It's the Planet, Didiot!

Zork Green Tip 29 - Save H2O

Human, we love water. We traveled the galaxy for thousands of years. One common thing we found in every galaxy and every planet we visited is that where there is life, there is also water.

We understand that many humans did not believe there was extraterrestrial life until we were shot down by Bubba in Stephenville, Texas. Life, including us, is a result of water.

Water is life. Life is water. There is no way around it.

We are befuddled why Earthlings pollute and waste water. We analyzed the Earthly data on our nanocomputers and confirmed that drinkable water for Earthlings will be a much bigger problem than the high price of oil you face today.

The cause of your water shortages is simple. There are over six billion water-thirsty humans on planet Earth. Earthlings are using water faster than the Earth's water reservoirs can replenish the supplies. Water tables are falling on every continent as demand for water grows faster due to population growth. Overpumping of water is now widespread in China, India and United States. These three Earthly countries together make nearly half of the world’s grain harvest.

Zork Green Tip 28 - Skate to Save the Planet

After being stranded on your beautiful planet for over six months, we discovered an exciting human-made technology of intergalactic significance that reduces energy consumption while traveling. This transportation technology saves a substantial amount of gasoline while providing Earthlings with a platform to have fun and be green like us.

1000 MPG. According to our nano-computer calculations and rigorous technical and mathematical analysis, this transportation device generates at least 1000 MPG before it needs to be refueled.

This green technology is the skateboard. Earthlings, what a fun way to get around.

Don’t be a Didiot. Please do not attempt to ride your skateboard on your highways crowded with metal transportation devices expelling large amounts of carbon dioxide into your atmosphere. Skateboarding is one of the greenest ways to get around your neighborhood.