Zork Green Tip 27 - Save the Fish

Earthling, we recently visited one of your planet’s beautiful beaches. We were amazed at so many humans playing in the sand on the edge of your Pacific Ocean

We observed Earthlings of all ages standing in the shallow, cold, ocean water waves. We do not understand why humans stand for hours in the cold water. Other humans sleep in the sand for hours, reminding us of another Earthling species we had never seen before – the seal.

Naughty Drauk. My dear brother in law, Drauk, caused a commotion on the beach. He has one thing in common with Earthling dog pets. When in heat, both like to hump on a human’s leg. Drauk saw the beautiful female body vessels in bikinis and went crazy. We had to expend all or our effort stopping him from humping one of the girl’s leg.

Bikinis. Earthling, we do not understand what the big deal is about wearing bikinis. We have evolved past the need to wear clothing on our planet. We do not understand why you can wear a bikini on a beach, but not to work? Why not run in a bikini at the park? Why is it not appropriate to go to a fancy restaurant in a bikini?

Speedos. Meera was amused by Earthling males wearing tiny Speedos. We are not shy like Earthlings but even Meera was blushing after seeing hunky, young earthlings playing volleyball in Speedos.

Volleyball. Humans playing beach volleyball reminded me of seals making grunt noises playing with the ball.

Dolphins. We saw another Earthling species jumping through the water. Dolphins are humans’ best ocean friend. What a smart and beautiful animal, joyous and playful too.

Due to the simple fact that our brains are one million years more advanced than yours, we can communicate with the dolphins. They told us something disturbing. Dolphins look happy on the outside, but their hearts are full of sorrow and despair. They are sad because fish and the entire ocean ecosystems are dying due to pollution and over fishing by Didiot humans.

Here is what the dolphins told us:

Dolphin Fact #1: 90% of all sharks, tunas, cods, and other large predatory fish that once swam the oceans are gone. And their absence is causing problems throughout the ocean's food chains.

Dolphin Fact #2: 80% of the Caribbean reefs have disappeared in the past 30 years. (Reefs in the Pacific are vanishing nearly as fast.)

Dolphin Fact #3: Only 4% of the Earth’s oceans remain free from human impact, according to a 2008 study in the journal Science. 40% of this is heavily impacted.

Dolphin Fact #4: If the Chinese humans ate the same amount of fish per person as the Japanese humans, there would be no fish left in oceans anywhere in the world.

Dolphin Fact #5: Humans catch 80 million tons of fish per year. (more info)

Logic. Earthling, we do not understand why human’s do not follow simple logic. Over fishing does not help humans in the long run because there will be no fish left. Ocean pollution is causing coral reefs to die. This is causing huge consequences for your beautiful planet. 

If the oceans are polluted, humans will not want to go to the beach. The only good thing in that is that Drauk will not make a rear end out of himself at the beach watching bikini babes.

Human, please share your ideas with us on how we can help save the Earthling fish population.

Comments

[Juliette]

How about setting up Marine Reserves? It's the best way to protect entire ecosystems and help them recover.