Zork Green Tip 23 - Live in a Small Dwelling

Earthlings, we understand you need space because your body odor at times is not the most pleasant to our noses. Unlike your crude human vessel, our bodies exert rose-like odor, which is very sweet to our highly sensitive noses. Due to the fact that we are million of years more advanced, our noses are more sensitive than the noses of your best friend, dog.

We understand the human need to live in a spacious and comfortable dwelling environment. What we do not understand is why humans live in large houses that are over 2,000 square feet.

We were surprised to discover Earthling Al Gore lives in a very large dwelling of approximately 10,000 square feet. Al Gore is a great human, but we do not understand what he does in those 10,000 square feet of dwelling. Maybe he gets up multiple times per night and plays musical chairs with all of the bedrooms.

Earthling Gore admitted he was not perfect. We thank him for making global climate an important political and social topic for Earthlings. It must be hard to justify his style of living to other humans on other parts of the Earth who live in tiny apartments while he lounges luxuriously in his “green” mansion. There is a classic saying by humans: “Take my advice, I am not using it.” We also understand the Gore house is carbon neutral but that is not the point.

Right: Alchemy Architects' 350 square foot weeStudio, about $70,000

Recently we learned that famous boxer, Evander Holyfield, is in financial trouble and there is a possibility of his house going into foreclosure. 

We do not understand how homes are foreclosed on your planet. On our planet, every Zorkster has the right to live in a dwelling and the concept of mortgage or rent is something we have moved beyond at least five hundred thousand years ago.

We are befuddled why Evander Holyfield needs a 53,000 square foot home. What could an Earthling possibly do in a house of that size?

We observed that Earthlings love to store junk in their homes. We have flown in our saucy saucer over many garages only to be amazed and entertained at the amount of “things” humans store in their garages.

Right: Hanse Colani Rotor House rotates so that each room faces the main living room, as needed.

Earthling dwellings are not designed for living. Why do human homes have “formal living rooms” or “formal dining rooms”? We have seldom seen humans in these rooms. Why they are built is beyond our alien comprehension.

We analyzed humans' living habits, and have determined that the most important rooms are kitchen, living room and a bedroom. Depending on the amount of the Earthlings in the family, there is no need to have a house larger than 2000 square feet.

Advanced humans have figured out how to live in a 200 square foot home, comfortably. They are not slaves to high mortgages, high energy bills or water needs.

We are not advocating for every human to live in such small areas because we can understand close space can create human odors that are not pleasing to the nose. We just hope Earthlings will understand that there is no need to live in large homes that consume substantial amount of energy when most of those rooms are not being used.

Left: The Single Hauz, from Poland, 200 sq. ft.

 

Comments

[Anita]

Here in Greensburg, Kansas, the town rebuilding as a "green" town, I am dismayed at the number of people who's kids will be graduating HS soon and still they are building these 2000+ sq. ft. houses... The plan we're looking at right now is a 935 sq. ft. strawbale home...

[Michelle]

If you want to see some humans doing it right, you should check out Tumbleweed!

http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/