Why do humans use the word "sustainable"? We are befuddled. Of course the environment has to be "sustainable" in order for you to survive, live and prosper. Please do not be a Didiot, simply use green and be green like us.
Green Tip 1: Fly a Kite. What cheaper, better and more green way to spend an entire afternoon with your Earthling honey than flying a kite? Kites are inexpensive. Perhaps you can design you own from recycled materials.
You can learn a lot about a human by how they handle a kite. If they 
get stressed about holding a kite, if they panic when the kite is going downwards, if they don't appreciate the beauty of the wind, you might be dating a Didiot. Be aware. Fly a kite and you might learn a thing or two about your potential mate.
Green Tip 2: Rock Skipping. There is no more beautiful way to spend the afternoon than skipping rocks across the surface of one of your Earth's beautiful water reservoirs or channels. This is a perfect opportunity for you to reflect with your date on each other's lives, childhood memories and futures. Enjoy the beauty of nature.
Green Tip 3: Watch a Romantic Movie at your dwelling. There is no better way for you to warm up to your date than watching a romantic film.
Reduce your carbon output by turning down the lights. A movie at
home is much better than driving to a theater, wasting precious gas and
paying out the kazoo to see a romantic film in a crowded and cold
theater. Besides, if the mood swings to the positive, the opportunity
for hugging and kissing is limitless in the comfort of your own
dwelling.
We recommend: When Harry Met Sally, You've got Mail, Pretty Woman, The Notebook, Doctor Zhivago.
Green Tip 4: Play Futebol. If your date is sports minded, take him or her out on a sports date in the park. Futebol (soccer to American Earthlings) is a perfect green sport for male and female humans to play together.
Humans, we do not understand your culture very well, but we see why futebol is the most popular sport on planet Earth. It is a fun game and everyone can play it cheaply. If you like, you can play futebol one on one, winner takes all.
Green Tip 5: Veg Out. The is the simplest and easiest thing for humans to do. Have fun preparing vegetables from your garden or organic produce, prepare them as appetizers, experiment with with veggie smoothie recipes, and veg out in your living room listening to music, watching a movie or playing monopoly.
Green Tip 6: Have a Fashion Show in your dwelling. We have found out that humans when children like to play dress up. Why not have a fashion show for your loved one. You can make a walkway and then dress in various costumes.
Green Tip 7: Dance at your own dwelling. There is no waiting line. Earthlings, we do not understand why humans go to dance clubs to dance when they can do it in the comfort of their homes. We see you like to cluster, but why can't you turn your own living room into a disco?
It is mind boggling to us that humans wait in long lines outside of dance clubs, freezing, waiting for hours to enter a club half empty. This is not logical. It is better to dance the night away at home.
Besides, much more fun stuff can happen when you are in your own dwelling than trying to be cool waiting in line to get into the club while "big gorilla" stands at the front door with the IQ of an amoeba, making decisions on who gets in and who does not. (We did not mean to offend the species amoeba. It was just a metaphor.)
Green Tip 8: Walk a Pet. Walking your pet (dogs are the preferable) is a stellar way to get to know your date, make conversation and exercise your human vessel. Earthling, dogs are a great way to break the ice on a first date. Focus on walking the dog, and then everything goes from there.
Make sure your dog does not get out of control. We have seen humans chasing their dogs all over the planet because they did not pay attention and accidentally let them get off the leash. If this happens, you look incapable of managing a relationship.
There is a saying on our planet, "If you cannot manage a pet, how can you manage a mate?"
Green Tip 9: Hide and Seek. Revert to your childhood and play hide and seek. This is a great pick up line in bars as well. Next time you meet a potential date say, "Hello, would you like to play hide and seek at my dwelling? This should most definitely work. If it does not, we will be flabbergasted.
Green Tip 10: Play Twister. This is the best game for humans to play if they like each other. We do not recommend it on a first date, but you never know what you can get away with. One thing puzzles us.
If a human male asks a human female if she is interested in playing Twister, 9 times out 10, he will get slapped or turned down. If a human female asks a human male to play Twister, 9 times out of 10, they will agree.
Why is this? Should it not be the
same odds? Humans also have a saying "Men are from Mars, women are from
Venus." Well, Earthlings, we have visited both planets. This is not so.
There is no tangible life on
these two planets. We promise. Alien honor. Be green like us and go out on green dates!
Great content, nifty color scheme! Keep up the good work!
Posted by: Mr. Sustainable | May 24, 2008 at 08:10 AM
Hello dear space bods. If we humans new the answer to the question you raised in tip number 20 then we would be able to understand everything... I think.
Posted by: Green Matt | May 29, 2008 at 03:23 AM