Zork Green Tip 14 - Turn Off the Lights

Earthlings, there is one thing you can do to help save planet Earth, be green like us and not lift more than your little finger. Even I have learned to do it, and I only have two fingers and one thumb.

Actually my three fingers can act either as fingers or as thumbs at any point in time. We do not understand why humans require four fingers plus a thumb, but that is beside the point.

The point is, Earthlings, if you want an easy way to be green then all you have to do is turn off your lights. It is not hard, humans. Every time you see lights on and if you are not using them, simply turn them off. If you will be out of a room for longer than 30 seconds, turn off the lights.

Why do Earthlings have night lights? We hear night lights are a must in case an Earthling awakes in the middle of the night and needs to go to the restroom. There is no need for this kind of energy draining, Didiot-like behavior. Humans, you may think one simple little night light cannot do any harm, but if you consider it in large numbers, it is a different story.

The story here is really that your little pinky can make a huge difference for the environment if you make your pinky a green pinky. We have heard Earthlings use the phrase "green thumb" for humans with the ability to grow vegetation.

Why not use the phrase "green pinky" to characterize humans who are ready, willing and able to use their little pinky to turn off unused lights?

Earthlings, you do not need a degree from Oxford to understand and process this green tip. Use your green pinky to turn off the lights. It is that simple.

Turning off lights gives you the opportunity to do fun things in the dark. We have been on your planet for nearly 6 months and we have discovered that humans need a carrot dangled in front of them in order to be motivated. There is no better motivational carrot than the carrot of having fun. When you turn off your lights, you can have these fun activities:

Hide and Seek:  We do not understand this game because we have infrared vision in the dark. We noticed that humans do not. So you have the opportunity to turn off the lights and play hide and seek with your children, spouse or your love mate. We are jealous.

Romance in the Dark: Turn off the lights, save energy and you and your mate can sit on the couch, hold hands and smooch. It cannot get better than this. You can justify your smooching because you are being green like us.

The Evil Flashlight: When you turn off the lights, you can play Evil Masks with the help of the flashlight and tell scary stories. Earthlings, we do not understand the concept of fright but we will take your word for it. We do not understand why so many teen Earthlings like horror movies but even our son Zorkey seems to like them. Why are humans afraid of UFO aliens like me?

Dance in the Dark: Dancing is most fun in the dark. If you are not the next Dancing with the Stars star, then the best thing for you is to dance with your love mate in the dark. You can even slow dance, smooch, hug, dance and be green like us all at the same time. We do not recommend you do ballroom dancing such as tango because you could get hurt in the dark.

Earthlings are finally catching on. Recently, a good portion of the planet turned off as many lights as possible for Earth Hour 2008. Why not do this once a week? Or every night? There is no need to have the electric companies make money from you by providing electricity when your green pinky can stop it just by lifting that little finger.

Humans, we do not know all the games you can play in the dark. Please send us a few suggestions.